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October 6, 2008

Back To School

Filed in The Things I Don't Know

Just spent the better part of a weekend doing something I should have gotten around to 35 years ago.

I learned a little something about money.

What I know on the subject could fit on the back of a matchbook and still have room enough to left to entice you into a lucrative career as an artist drawing Bambi.

The Lovely, Globetrotting Mrs. Blogs asked me the other day, "Aren't you scared of this financial crisis? Aren't you afraid of what's been happening this week?"

I trained my puckish wit on the poor woman and let loose a thunderous slap-shot:

"Of course I'd be afraid . . . if I had any money."

At the time I said this I felt there was a pearl of wisdom in that clam, even if you had to pry the shell open with a sardine can key to jar it loose.

On further inspection I realized my statement wasn't so much clever as it was revealing.

Sure, Honest Abe Lincoln appears on the $5 bill, but who the heck was on the $500 bill?

William McKinley, 25th President of the U.S., of course.

Fascinating side note:

We'll be the judges of that, GP.

McKinley was shot on September 5, 1901 by Leon Frank Czolgosz. President McKinley lived 8 days before succumbing to his wounds. Czolgosz—get this—was convicted and sentenced for his crime on September 23 and was given the electric chair

On the whole I bet he'd have preferred a Lazy Boy recliner . . .

on October 29, a mere 55 days elapsing from execution of crime to the execution of justice.

Kinda makes you fuzzy warm for the old days, don't it G.P. ?

Yes, it does Caustic Voice In My Head. Yes it does. I also knew who was pictured on the $10 bill—Alexander Hamilton . . .

What's with putting all these guys associated with firearms on money?

. . . but not on the $1000 bill.

Grover Cleveland. Only President to even be elected to non-consecutive terms . . .

Impressive you would know that.

What, you never heard of Grover-pedia?

As I was saying, I went back to school this weekend and got myself an eji-cation of sorts. I'll share more about it on the next post.

Wore you out, didn't I, GP?

You were a bit of a distraction CV

Good night, folks.

Goodnight, Chet.

Go to sleep, CV

Good night, John Boy.

I'm turning the lights out now.

Grandma, I cherish youuuuuuu . . .

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