"Peter Best tossed back his teenage locks,
puffed out his manly chest and thought to himself,
'What bloody luck—now I can look to join a real band.' "

“Ten year old Joe Schloboski raced from the schoolhouse and across the prairie field, breathless to share his latest entrepreneurial brainstorm—selling pictures and rhyme on bleached cardboard to easy marks at outrageous prices—with his best pal, young Billy Hallmark.”

"Because it was his first solo flight, Icarus spent a good deal longer than he normally would deciding whether to apply SPF 30 or 50."

"As he stood at the Gates of Heaven embracing the guy with the badly disfigured hands, Hakeem slowly began to realize this was probably the only virgin he would encounter today."

"The six figure suit Lawson brought against his former employer turned out to be three sizes too big."